Can PHAT(fat) girlz ever be pretty, hot and thick??????

I have been working very hard on my weight off late; why you may ask or you may not cause its obvious girls have to be in shape. Girls should be in shape, cause otherwise they don’t make wife material if they exceed a certain weight limit, even if someone is just average and their weight is perfect for their age and height, you are a girl and you are not supposed to be heavy cause you are a overweight and you wont get a groom. I am dizzy with the entire weight loss regime and after a workout my legs quake with pain. But the satisfaction it brings my mom that I have managed to stay within the weight limits is immense.

I remember being teased “fatso” throughout my teens, without anyone sparing a thought that the weight was a result of typhoid (Please note I was not overweight I was just plump, which is quite in terms with human biology cause during adolescent years a human being goes through a lot of biological changes); but no, science has nothing to do with what society thinks. You are just supposed to be thin because potential suitors are looking at you and it very important criteria.

During my teens I had a metabolic rate so funny that I never lost weight for quite some time, But I was a healthy girl with no reason to worry otherwise, cause I never fell ill, never had a bout of fever and never suffered any major illness later, Because I was on a healthy diet, but mind you I was plump and I didn’t have enough time, I was still being judged for my weight remember.

Those years, I used to hate looking at myself in the mirror cause I also had a case of real bad acne which the doctor had assured was because of the hormone changes and it would all pass once I am a bit older, but hello where is the time I am being judged by potential suitors remember.

I wonder if looks, weight and complexion are really the issues important for one to look in a partner. Does a person with a few KGs above the so called “slim” being advertised in the matrimonial columns, the so called complexion and the so called attractive features make for a good partner? Though I don’t only speak for women, I also speak for men (metro sexual ages of men remember?) I am looking at the India society in particular.

Are these enough qualifications for one to be a good wife a good partner? Added features like a good job guarantees you a better groom, though sometimes the groom in question may be something we don’t want even want to talk about.

We hear saying like, don’t judge a book by its cover, looks fade, and all that email forwards that haunt our inbox daily. How much of it are we implementing in real life.
I wonder what about women who can actually do nothing about their weight, height or colour. I guess dowry is a good answer and would compensate the looks department. (Yes it is still prevalent and some people still talk about it with pride as to how they have managed to sell their daughters at a very good rate!!!!!!)

Though there is enough evidence to prove that none of these features have guaranteed a lasting happy marriage, or even a normal marriage, who wants them, we live in a society which is so blinded with the rules (thinking of this as a subject for my next blog)

When today we have an Indian woman who seems to have orbited the space and made a record of sorts (mind you she is no miss universe and the space didn’t throw Williams back because she was not attractive) we have a society that thinks a girl has to be real mind blowing to be in a position to deserve a partner she desires.

My aunty once said about me, “It’s so sad that she is so fat and unattractive, she won’t even have chances with a love marriage. I mean who would fall in love with her”.
She had the guts to say this to my mom and what hurt me the most is not the fact that she said it, what hurt me is that mom agreed with her to some extent.
Though because she is a mother, my mother she never let that statement affect her much, she loved me the same way and fed me the way she did before and loves me with all her life, but I knew that she thought that the statement was true to some extent. What if my daughter remains fat and unattractive all her life?

I don’t know if we have reached a stage when men have been able to stand up and say “Mom, please find me a girl who is lovable, educated and it doesn’t really matter is she is not a miss universe, a pleasing personality will do.”

I have friends who are not married to Angelina Jolie look alike, but I know that their love runs deep and they are very happy and I know that these marriages have existed.

My parents for example, my dad was so thin and he was fair and mom was a bit dusky and quite plump herself (She is the most beautiful woman on this earth, she is a beauty!!!!!!) Their marriage has worked (Touchwood) and I wonder if the fact that my mom was dusky and her weight have ever come in the way of their marriage. Both have done a great job bringing up a rock star like me :-)

So why is it a criteria for me suddenly, because the society demands it and when I mean society, I talk of the mother who are women, and I talk of the men who are sons, who agree with their mother when they say that, they are the best things to happen to woman kind and deserve Menaka’s from Indra’s heaven).

So whom do we blame here? ……I have to start blaming myself first, cause I believe that I need to loose weight to get a good husband and I don’t deserve to be happy cause I am not exactly Aishwarya Rai, I am the one to blame cause I don’t trust myself and I believe the world when they say that my talents and my capabilities don’t count cause I don’t exactly have mind blowing looks and it’s a primary duty for me to be married and settled to some bloke who comes my way cause he is godly enough to accept me.

In this age when ads like fair and lovely get aired without any hitches, I wonder when this society will ever change…. I do know that if we want a change, women have to start believing them selves and trust that they have the same rights as men and have a chance at their career and…. YES IT’S THEIR LIFE AND NO ONE TELLS THEM HOW THEY CONDUCT IT. THEY ARE PRECIOUS CREATIONS OF GOD AND THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE WHOM THEY WANT TO BE WITH. THEY ALL HAVE A PURPOSE OTHER THAN JUST BEING MARRIED AND CHILD REARING.

I know that the society has changed to quite an extent and we don’t have to be mirror cracking material to get a good job , prove our worth and capabilities. But yes, looks still dominate the bride hunting fraternity and though it’s difficult to say when it will not be criteria at all, I sure hope I live to see that day. Can Phat ever be pretty hot and thick!!!!