The Elevator Speech ....

Sometimes the strangest of situations can give you a real insight to what you are made of. 

I was stuck in an elevator yesterday for a whole 20 min and that moment really changed my perspective and the idea I had about “me”.

I have always been scared of elevators, it’s the same fear I face when flying. I am not in peace and am constantly praying for the flight to land and get out of it. When in an elevator, I always look out for ways to save myself “If things were to go wrong”. The taller the building, greater is the fear. It helps if I share the elevator with someone but if I am alone I am praying to the elevator gods. 

So yesterday when I entered the elevator and it moved to the first floor and just stopped, I would have expected my reaction to be that of sheer panic, (I also suffer from Phasmophobia and Nyctophobia, so at the same time wondering which spirit I was sharing the lift with and if he or she is going to be friendly). I would have been picturing my death after the lift had plummeted to the ground (to the daredevils out there rolling your eyes, don't make me explain phobias).

But to my surprise I see that I was strangely calm. So this is what happened 

• 1) First minute - OK, It’s pretty dark and I can’t see a thing.
  2) Second minute – Let’s use the light on the mobile and search and press the alarm button.
  3) Third minute- Let’s call someone and tell them I am stuck in an elevator and get help. (Unfortunately I couldn't do that since there was no network in the elevator. 
  The next 17 minutes, this is what I told myself.
  "You are an idiot; Of course you are not going to die. You will have enough air to breathe till you are rescued because you are in a building and you have set the alarms and someone will come with help. This lift will not plummet to the ground because this is a “sophisticated” elevator and you are on the freaking first floor, and you might break a bone or two (should help you score a vacation from work) or make a good story to narrate the next day. Also say you were to die, you lived a good life and had the love of the people who mattered. No you are not dying. Just take some god damn selfies for "The time you were stuck in an elevator".
  As these thoughts ran through my mind, I realized how “Chilled out” I was. I noticed that while people who had come to help me were shouting to communicate with me and scared for me, I was strangely calm and screaming back that I was OK. 
  You see, for the last couple of years I have been battling some self esteem issues. I tell myself I am stronger and then dive right back into self pity and not feeling too good about myself. That's why this moment, where I was suddenly demonstrating strength and calmness came as a major surprise to me. 
  But I guess this is what life does to you. You don't stay the same. You change. Experience changes you. The people you are with changes you, shutting down the wrong people in your life will change you. Seeking help, daily motivation and self help changes you. Acknowledging that you have a problem even if the world doesn't see it and then working towards make each day better changes you. It gets better.
  I know that if I was the person I was in the last couple of years, I would have probably started crying, screaming and banging the elevator doors. You know what I did. I put on my earphones on and sat on the floor and listened to some music and then waiting to get the hell out of there (chuckling about how I am going to spin stories about this experience coming out looking like wonder woman.) 
  It’s taken a lot of self help book reading, watching a motivational video every day and every opportunity I get (Face book, Insta and LinkedIn included) and trying to be a better version of myself each day. It’s a struggle but the “elevator Incident” showed me that I had made progress and it was going to get better. 
  P.S. The GIF. is a representation of how I walked out of that elevator. No Kidding.