Better Infrastructure for Mumbai...Really?

Just got thinking the other day, as I was driving on a Sunday, and I saw cars whiz past me, sorry ZOOM...past me and as I saw infrastructure around getting built , and I saw cars flouting every traffic signal and some drivers delivering insults and some cars signaling me to flout some rules; Do we Indians deserve better infrastructure. As far as I think…we don’t. We don’t deserve it a bit. I am happy with the state of infrastructure now because we don’t respect it. Take the eastern express highway for instance and as you see Michael Schumacher wannabes zoom past and your mind goes to the reports of the number of deaths on that road due to speeding vehicles… I realize had this been a traffic infested road, the least people would have got away with are scrapped cars…so I guess in order to save a few lives we need the traffic.; because give an empty road and we have people driving as if a wild boar or a wild elephant is chasing them.
Just today I had a car blaring into my ears cause I stuck to the speed limit of 50 on a flyover and still a heavy jumbo car wanted to zoom ahead and wanted me to shift lanes though it clearly specifies no overtaking.
Take the Worli sea link and you realize with the initial set of reports before they put a hundred speed breakers on it, did we deserve it? Did we even respect this piece of infrastructure , which should have made our lives easier but only took a couple of lives; at first we complained, that it took a million years to built and then when it gets built, Do we even care to act like civilized human beings and drive on it.
I guess I am fine with the state of infrastructure..because I know we mumbaites don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve it, nobody staying here does. Nobody with a car and no patience does.

Graceful loser.

Why can’t a human accept defeat gracefully….why does it always have to be about his ego and why is that we have conditioned our minds to win, that we brand ourselves as losers, if we don’t win. When we win whom are we pleasing and for how long.
I was in between a cricket match yesterday and I couldn’t believe what I saw at the end of 4 over’s, and the loss of 5 wickets when the batsmen lost all control and started accusing the bowlers of cuss words and then alleged that the opposing team had an outsider and then demanded a rematch. And the fight that ensued went on for 2 hours, and all this for what; A champion trophy that no one will care about the next day. This event got me thinking about what is it that gets people so crazy about being victorious all the time that when the time comes to lose they just can’t take it.
Till today we have books, fables, one liners and proverbs telling and us how to be winners. Why is there no such thing teaching us to be graceful losers? Why is that it always is about winning…in a population of million..How is that everyone can win, some people have to lose.
Who and what will teach us to accept that we can’t always win and that when we lose…we don’t necessarily become a looser.
Yeah I have a problem with the saying…failure is a stepping stone to success…not necessary. We can keep failing and not win..I guess the important part is that we tried and put in our best effort. A looser would be the person who was embarrassed enough to try.
But I guess the worst looser is the one with no sportsmanship, and make excuses for losing a game and threaten to walkout, instead of even making an attempt to try.
We have to lose …because in case we win it won’t feel that good. I mean if you were an A student throughout its so expected of you to score that way all through, the fun is when we watch a student who failed a year in school and then he works hard and goes on to pass the next year with 1st class marks. See what I mean ?????????????????????

I LOVE THAT LOVE IS BLIND

i once asked my love what he found the most attractive in me and i was expeting the most cliche of the answer..its your eyes....convienient....i mean if he was to ask me that i would have said "darling its your eyes"....but he said ..its your nose........and i guess thats when i realised that love was blind ...indeed 100 % blind...cause if you ever saw my nose ....well lets say there's nothing to describe there...and my love felt that the most imperect part of me was what he found cool..

i grew up with everyone ...(when i mean everyone it means the section of society which places the physical attributes before anything else and which primarily also includes my mom) giving me tips of achieving a nicole kidman nose , "try massaging your nose this way sraight down the bridge of your nose"...."try surgery...(my mom almost fixed an appointment which a rhinoplastery surgeon" ...."i can only see your nose on your ace".. and i had grown to detest the mirror for i thought it was true..... i could only see my nose...cause it was imbedded in my head that i had a large nose...occupying 3/4 of my face and as much as i hated it, i knew in my heart that i am not touching or mending the way god made me ......


a few years down the line ..the man of my dreams tell me that he loves my nose...well done God ....you have a purpose in placing everything at its right place.....

love the way god made you ....he has a reason in doing so....it could be your chinky eyes, your thin lips , your heavy frame, your thin frame. and if he wants to alter you..then he is definitely NOT THE ONE.

Mumbai .....still cordial

A tiring day at work is over, phew and I am onto my train back home and as usual its crowded and I as usual ask a lady politely I must add “ Aunty where are you getting off” ..


Well for people who are not Mumbaites “its really really OK to ask people this question cause it gives you an idea as to when you get to rest your legs and get a seat so that there is no fight for a seat later. Everyday this is a ritual for ladies who travel by the railways and if you were to count the number of times it is said it would equivalent to the population of the ladies who travel by train and don’t get a seat. Its a way of life and absolutely normal.

Well getting back to the situation. The lady just snarls at me, “where I get off is none of your business”. I am startled of course and I ask her if she is new in Mumbai and she snarls back, “ I was born in Mumbai” and I can clearly see that she doesn’t know as to how it works in Mumbai. And the shocking part is that as I keep quite and just said to myself ”she is an elderly woman and my upbringing doesn’t permit me to fight with her when she suddenly in a hushed tone retorts “ silly bitches, why do they want to know where I have to get off”.


The point here is I thought elders were to teach us people to behave our selves and be patient and be concerned and nice and here I was with a lady the same age as my mother who was just the opposite of what I normally would expect someone to be.

Where has the niceness, caring loving nature of Mumbai gone, do we need a 26th July rains to bring it out.
Everyday as I get into trains there is no care in the world as to whom we are pushing out in a bid to get into the trains. We know that there are 100 people in a space with a capacity of 50 people , but we need our space, we need no pushing and then we wont pushing a few people out and then of course where is the patience of the elderly woman who used the same trains to travel to college in their younger days but swear at the young girls going to college and of course the huge discourse and loud discussion of the saas bahu serials despite knowing that there are a group of girls trying very hard to do a last minute study in the train and trying to hush them up by asking them to study in their homes,

We will write and read 10 books with god’s prayers on it but when it comes to offering a seat to people who have been standing for quite some time or some pregnant lady we forget that in serving these people will we get closer to god.

Lets take for example the day when I signaled a rickshaw to ferry me to the station and an old man comes running from no where and gets into the rick and when questioned by the driver, just says “ so what you can join me if you want” ….where are all the manners and where are the lessons.

We are told to be tolerant at home but as we venture out we loose of it, as we walk on the station …if that’s how we loose it then how are we supposed to go through the rest of the day.

Men are taught to respect ladies and help them but when we see the monkeys on the top of a train or the men even in the first class compartment eve teasing and passing derogatory remarks when they see the ladies coach pass by where does teaching go.

It upsets me cause just a few months back there was this debate on Mumbai being the most civil city and we threw 26th July back on the faces of the research analysts of Readers Digest.

We have a chance to show we care everyday why do we need adversaries to bring the good in us. Lending a helping hand to a lady trying to get in, helping a blind guy get into the disabled coach and just being civil and answering back in case someone asks you if you will be off your seat sometime soon.

It’s ok to be nice to your friends and relatives and associates….lets try and be nice to strangers for a change I guess that could make a hell lot of a difference.

Love makes the world go round

As I was thinking about what my next plan of action would be at work on the day of a compensatory leave and I happen to glance out of the window I see two pigeons on a branch pecking at each other and I say so sweet and miss Nishant even more and then I am off to sleep and after two hours as I glance out of my window again there they are still and my mind races to the two sparrow that are seated on the window ledge of my neighbors house everyday..I saw them everyday …every evening a male and a female sparrow …they sit there together chirping talking to each other…sometimes they are too close for comfort and sometimes as if they had a fight there would be a few centimeters of difference between the two …” I saw you flirting with the other sparrow today” …

And I think to myself we fight we lie but we still love…a phenomenon called love that’s still an unexplained one that god gets full credit for creating. A emotion that tugs your heart, brings a smile on your face and a tear too. And then as I wonder what this emotion is all about and what it is that makes me feel like that the only answer that comes to my mind is “ Let it be….at least it makes the world go round”.

Yes it is indeed an emotion a feeling that has bound people together today and that’s what MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND.”

There is this very sweet couple that I have been dealing with in my office …he is a tall handsome man and she is this short sweet cute girly and different countries, different cultures….and still so much in love…what is this bond between them that he cares so much for her and wants to hold her hand put his arms around her and take her consent and answer her concerns ……I am sure he does loose his patience but then he knows she is right and they are again this sweet couple that make you want to go “ohhhhhhhhhhhh”

What is this unexplainable bond between my mom and dad...mom says she was dark complexioned and stout and dad was this fair handsome guy …when they got into an arranged marriage. I don’t hear them say “I love you” at all…but in so many years as I have watched them bring us up, fight over issues, get angry and make ,…as I have watched mom wait for dad to have dinner no matter how late he is and cry when she has to leave him for a while even if they are getting back together after 15 days I realize these words don’t have to be said.

I have had the privilege to experience this wonderful emotion myself. Though I have not been the giving one in this relationship and can’t take all the credit for making this relationship better. I always though I could play it safe and never fall in love when I saw my friends going through their set of heartbreaks and I pledged to never get into it. Not that my relationship has been problem free and I have had my set of heart breaks too I am glad I have Nishant in my life. I would have probably turned insane if it wasn’t of him. He took over from where my family gave up on me. I mean not that my family gave up on me but he did take over all my responsibilities cause I am not used to taking any and I would have had to trouble dad if not him. So he took over my life from my dad and he has so far done a brilliant job at that. Despite the problems we have had and the set of nonsensical people trying to ruin it for us …we have been together and I could never give up on him and we have been able to forgive each other and never call it quits. I guess that’s what love is all about. You just learn to tolerate each other, hate and love each other. The one we love can cause us grief and pain and still be the one that can make us the most happy. I still don’t get it I don’t know how Nishant finds it in his heart to forgive me despite being so rude to him and sometimes frustrating him beyond limits. . I don’t know where he has the patience and I don’t know what makes me go back to him despite him giving me a near fatal heart attack with his antics and sometime making me angry enough to have the blood spurt out of my ears. I believe either we have an amazing tolerance for each other or we are what the world would call it “ IN LOVE” .

What ever this feeling is I know that I am the happiest that I ever was and I am sure I am not changing that for anything in the world and I know that no matter what I prefer being I love that being rich and famous …cause its not point if I have no one to share it with cause. Nishant makes me feel all of that…beautiful gorgeous and rich ….and famous….
Even when I am looking my worst and am in my worst he makes me feel like Cinderella and I don’t know if I have ever felt like that before ..in fact he bought this sea of change in me and I am sure now I do look beautiful cause I wanted to just for him.

The other day I saw a dog biting of the fleas of her new born puppy and I could see that she could not see her child in pain and the way she ignored the food that people were passing on to her just because she wanted to be with her baby all the time,

I guess that’s love …


I think I want to just sum it all by saying that I want to bless god for blessing us with this emotion called love ..cause this world would shatter into pieces the day we loose it ……though hatred and a lot of unwanted emotions have taken over we still have a few ounces of love in every human being and that’s preventing the world from exploding.

I am sure the day we loose that last ounce of love in us that day will be worse than the world being hit by a nuclear explosion cause we might as well die that live in a loveless world.

“Sometimes people come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime.”

When someone is in your life for a reason, it is habitually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance, to aid you spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. The prayer you sent up has been answered.

I have always credited myself for my perfect life and for being so perfect. I was this obedient kid and didn’t mind being told by my brother that I was being this total sucker, and I can’t get started with how my friends said that I had no life and will regret being this dork with straight “A’s”. I was this shining example whose neighbours and relatives gave an exceptional example of, much to the exasperation of their kids, and when I got back from London with my MBA there was nothing more I needed to achieve. I was just about to have this perfect life. My mom always credited me for my hard work but she always told me that there was this approach or “attitude” that she never appreciated; my dad had tried 20 years of his life before he gave up on me trying altering this attitude in me. This attitude that I am the “best”. I am actually my favourite person and that I can never be wrong, do wrong, that I can never fail…………just took a man and his family to alter all that.

It was this second day at work and I was just preparing for my new life, new career to kick start and then there was this family that just came in, and it changed everything my perception and my life. There was so much more I needed to do and there was so much I have missed out on and so much more to achieve.

Mr. Sandeep Naik, His beautiful wife and I am sure there is an angel missing up in heaven because that would definitely be Mr. Sandeep’s son. Here was this perfect family where this man showed no restraint in showering his family with as much as love as he could, carrying his little baby around and being this perfect husband to his partner holding her all the time and it felt so perfect and that’s when it hit me. I didn’t have all of it after all. How could my life be perfect, I still didn’t have this perfect husband who left all his decision to me, who held me without a care in the world and completed my world with this beautiful little kid who had this set of parents who wanted the world for him and even took his opinion on the house they were to purchase. The one year old angel sure agreed with a bit of wobbling. He was not only this perfect husband but was also perfect at whatever he did. He is a very integral associate at one of the biggest private equity firms and that means he makes very very important decisions but he still let his little tot decide on a million dollar investment in a house and this entire incident overwhelmed me so much.

What was even more touching is how down to earth this man was, he actually asked me if I think he should invest his money in here. This man pulled me back to earth. A Wharton School graduate expecting me to be credulous. He sure was this man who has achieved a lot more in life and it took him to come to my company and teach me that I needed to accomplish a lot more before I could say that I have it all.

I don’t like giving people much credit for my life, but Thank you Mr. ……..Thank you for inadvertently teaching me that I am still at such a nascent stage of my career and that its time to acknowledge my mom when she says that its time I realise that’s it good to have a family despite my bad experiences. It surprises me is that it took so long and why Mr. Sandeep.

I am sure there was a reason; it was the perfect season and the lesson sure stays for a life time. Nevertheless I sent a silent prayer asking god to bless his family, and bless me with one just like his……….

Shilpa Shetty, You failed us!!!!!!!!!

I just finished watching the entire set of the big brother videos on youtube.com and was wondering if Shilpa Shetty really deserved to win. For me, it was a big deal that we had an Indian who was representing our country at Big brother and it made me very angry to knows the way she was bullied and the racial slur that was directed against her and I suddenly realised if the whole of Britain feels the same way about us; Of course the apologies came, but I am sure that a section of the society felt that Indians really do not have much to contribute and come from the slums.

But that apart, the reason I write this blog is because I wonder if we had a right representation of our country and its people. First and foremost, I really feel that if Jermaine Jackson was not present to save the day, would Shilpa have been able to maintain her cool and if it was not for the advice to continue acting dumb, would Shilpa really have been that tolerant? I wonder that because she has been going around telling people how the Indian counterparts have made life difficult for her and that the Indian security is not really doing its job right and the media has made her life difficult.

I wonder if she really deserved the credit. Well I did see her washing vessels and cooking for her roommates (she said it was personal choice, but someone intelligent could see that she successfully became a slave). I would have appreciated it if she had walked out on the show when she along with her country, India was battered beyond its dignity, having self admitted that she was loosing her dignity she stayed around for what, with a hope to win. Is she happy to have found success this way? What has she really won, yeah for one thing a lot of money and media coverage and an opportunity to be in this country forever? When two men had the guts to walk out on the show because they were bullied by the same people who bullied you, why didn't she do the same.

We definitely don’t need Shilpa to put us on the world map, we are already there, Just because she took on the racial slur and didn’t stand up for our country, and was called all kinds of names, do we really need to hail her and for what? Even after she was out of the house she said things like I forgive and I forget. Really, can you forgive and forget someone who has called you names and questioned your family values and above all degraded your country? The biggest joke was her receiving an award for winning Big brother (as if that was not enough) at a movie award function (and not for her acting skills). I don’t get it!!!!! What are all these people hailing her for and making her a demi-god of sorts.

All Shilpa did that day of the huge argument with Jade goody was to say “Shut up”, “I don’t want this”, “Stop swearing at me”, “Learn some manners”, and the rest of the gang got away saying what they really wanted to, to the extent of calling her a Paki, I attach the link stating exactly the extent of abuse use against our country. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celebrity_Big_Brother_racism_controversy

In an recent interview she said she would kill herself if she was reborn Jade goody, that’s how she feels about her; then why say that you have forgiven and forgotten and that people make mistakes, demeaning ones country, especially your motherland is not a mistake but a crime, especially when our freedom fighters laid their lives so that you were a free citizen. You are basking in the glory, thanks to the citizens of Indian origin settled here in UK, who definitely don’t know what our country is all about and must have voted for you, feeling obviously too sorry for you.

Looking at her recent set of interviews with the Indian Media, I am sure that she is not exactly tolerant and when questioned she can be really spiteful, so what was that suffering all in silence for, to win that show and project India as a looser that needs a scandal to rescue it.

Yes you need to be dignified, you need to be kind and you need to be courteous but when you say that you are representing your country , please make the right representation, we are not exactly tolerant when the dignity of this country is questioned anymore, she suffered in silence and we don’t do that any more. We suffered a lot already in the hands of our British rulers and instead of taking a lesson from that she has decided to suffer again, and I wonder if that makes us really proud as she claims to be.

I am not sure if Gandhiji’s Ahimsa (based on non violence, which I think means tolerance to violence and get kicked, till it hurts), exactly got us independence and I wonder if we would have got far, if it hadn’t been for the great revolutionary leaders and they were not exactly tolerant. We were not tolerant at Kargil. We were not tolerant when we had US hold up sanctions against us.

Shilpa, I am happy for you and your new found success, but for once if you really thought you were representing us I wish you had mentioned once, that your country was not at all what it was made out to be and really shown them the true picture of our progressive country and that we definitely don’t belong to the slums!!!!!!!!!!

But if you can’t get the message across, I will, we are not tolerant to injustice against us anymore and we don’t need to project that either and we don’t want dim witted bimbos to make that kind of false representations of us Indians and Indian women in particular anymore.