I LOVE THAT LOVE IS BLIND

i once asked my love what he found the most attractive in me and i was expeting the most cliche of the answer..its your eyes....convienient....i mean if he was to ask me that i would have said "darling its your eyes"....but he said ..its your nose........and i guess thats when i realised that love was blind ...indeed 100 % blind...cause if you ever saw my nose ....well lets say there's nothing to describe there...and my love felt that the most imperect part of me was what he found cool..

i grew up with everyone ...(when i mean everyone it means the section of society which places the physical attributes before anything else and which primarily also includes my mom) giving me tips of achieving a nicole kidman nose , "try massaging your nose this way sraight down the bridge of your nose"...."try surgery...(my mom almost fixed an appointment which a rhinoplastery surgeon" ...."i can only see your nose on your ace".. and i had grown to detest the mirror for i thought it was true..... i could only see my nose...cause it was imbedded in my head that i had a large nose...occupying 3/4 of my face and as much as i hated it, i knew in my heart that i am not touching or mending the way god made me ......


a few years down the line ..the man of my dreams tell me that he loves my nose...well done God ....you have a purpose in placing everything at its right place.....

love the way god made you ....he has a reason in doing so....it could be your chinky eyes, your thin lips , your heavy frame, your thin frame. and if he wants to alter you..then he is definitely NOT THE ONE.

Mumbai .....still cordial

A tiring day at work is over, phew and I am onto my train back home and as usual its crowded and I as usual ask a lady politely I must add “ Aunty where are you getting off” ..


Well for people who are not Mumbaites “its really really OK to ask people this question cause it gives you an idea as to when you get to rest your legs and get a seat so that there is no fight for a seat later. Everyday this is a ritual for ladies who travel by the railways and if you were to count the number of times it is said it would equivalent to the population of the ladies who travel by train and don’t get a seat. Its a way of life and absolutely normal.

Well getting back to the situation. The lady just snarls at me, “where I get off is none of your business”. I am startled of course and I ask her if she is new in Mumbai and she snarls back, “ I was born in Mumbai” and I can clearly see that she doesn’t know as to how it works in Mumbai. And the shocking part is that as I keep quite and just said to myself ”she is an elderly woman and my upbringing doesn’t permit me to fight with her when she suddenly in a hushed tone retorts “ silly bitches, why do they want to know where I have to get off”.


The point here is I thought elders were to teach us people to behave our selves and be patient and be concerned and nice and here I was with a lady the same age as my mother who was just the opposite of what I normally would expect someone to be.

Where has the niceness, caring loving nature of Mumbai gone, do we need a 26th July rains to bring it out.
Everyday as I get into trains there is no care in the world as to whom we are pushing out in a bid to get into the trains. We know that there are 100 people in a space with a capacity of 50 people , but we need our space, we need no pushing and then we wont pushing a few people out and then of course where is the patience of the elderly woman who used the same trains to travel to college in their younger days but swear at the young girls going to college and of course the huge discourse and loud discussion of the saas bahu serials despite knowing that there are a group of girls trying very hard to do a last minute study in the train and trying to hush them up by asking them to study in their homes,

We will write and read 10 books with god’s prayers on it but when it comes to offering a seat to people who have been standing for quite some time or some pregnant lady we forget that in serving these people will we get closer to god.

Lets take for example the day when I signaled a rickshaw to ferry me to the station and an old man comes running from no where and gets into the rick and when questioned by the driver, just says “ so what you can join me if you want” ….where are all the manners and where are the lessons.

We are told to be tolerant at home but as we venture out we loose of it, as we walk on the station …if that’s how we loose it then how are we supposed to go through the rest of the day.

Men are taught to respect ladies and help them but when we see the monkeys on the top of a train or the men even in the first class compartment eve teasing and passing derogatory remarks when they see the ladies coach pass by where does teaching go.

It upsets me cause just a few months back there was this debate on Mumbai being the most civil city and we threw 26th July back on the faces of the research analysts of Readers Digest.

We have a chance to show we care everyday why do we need adversaries to bring the good in us. Lending a helping hand to a lady trying to get in, helping a blind guy get into the disabled coach and just being civil and answering back in case someone asks you if you will be off your seat sometime soon.

It’s ok to be nice to your friends and relatives and associates….lets try and be nice to strangers for a change I guess that could make a hell lot of a difference.

Love makes the world go round

As I was thinking about what my next plan of action would be at work on the day of a compensatory leave and I happen to glance out of the window I see two pigeons on a branch pecking at each other and I say so sweet and miss Nishant even more and then I am off to sleep and after two hours as I glance out of my window again there they are still and my mind races to the two sparrow that are seated on the window ledge of my neighbors house everyday..I saw them everyday …every evening a male and a female sparrow …they sit there together chirping talking to each other…sometimes they are too close for comfort and sometimes as if they had a fight there would be a few centimeters of difference between the two …” I saw you flirting with the other sparrow today” …

And I think to myself we fight we lie but we still love…a phenomenon called love that’s still an unexplained one that god gets full credit for creating. A emotion that tugs your heart, brings a smile on your face and a tear too. And then as I wonder what this emotion is all about and what it is that makes me feel like that the only answer that comes to my mind is “ Let it be….at least it makes the world go round”.

Yes it is indeed an emotion a feeling that has bound people together today and that’s what MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND.”

There is this very sweet couple that I have been dealing with in my office …he is a tall handsome man and she is this short sweet cute girly and different countries, different cultures….and still so much in love…what is this bond between them that he cares so much for her and wants to hold her hand put his arms around her and take her consent and answer her concerns ……I am sure he does loose his patience but then he knows she is right and they are again this sweet couple that make you want to go “ohhhhhhhhhhhh”

What is this unexplainable bond between my mom and dad...mom says she was dark complexioned and stout and dad was this fair handsome guy …when they got into an arranged marriage. I don’t hear them say “I love you” at all…but in so many years as I have watched them bring us up, fight over issues, get angry and make ,…as I have watched mom wait for dad to have dinner no matter how late he is and cry when she has to leave him for a while even if they are getting back together after 15 days I realize these words don’t have to be said.

I have had the privilege to experience this wonderful emotion myself. Though I have not been the giving one in this relationship and can’t take all the credit for making this relationship better. I always though I could play it safe and never fall in love when I saw my friends going through their set of heartbreaks and I pledged to never get into it. Not that my relationship has been problem free and I have had my set of heart breaks too I am glad I have Nishant in my life. I would have probably turned insane if it wasn’t of him. He took over from where my family gave up on me. I mean not that my family gave up on me but he did take over all my responsibilities cause I am not used to taking any and I would have had to trouble dad if not him. So he took over my life from my dad and he has so far done a brilliant job at that. Despite the problems we have had and the set of nonsensical people trying to ruin it for us …we have been together and I could never give up on him and we have been able to forgive each other and never call it quits. I guess that’s what love is all about. You just learn to tolerate each other, hate and love each other. The one we love can cause us grief and pain and still be the one that can make us the most happy. I still don’t get it I don’t know how Nishant finds it in his heart to forgive me despite being so rude to him and sometimes frustrating him beyond limits. . I don’t know where he has the patience and I don’t know what makes me go back to him despite him giving me a near fatal heart attack with his antics and sometime making me angry enough to have the blood spurt out of my ears. I believe either we have an amazing tolerance for each other or we are what the world would call it “ IN LOVE” .

What ever this feeling is I know that I am the happiest that I ever was and I am sure I am not changing that for anything in the world and I know that no matter what I prefer being I love that being rich and famous …cause its not point if I have no one to share it with cause. Nishant makes me feel all of that…beautiful gorgeous and rich ….and famous….
Even when I am looking my worst and am in my worst he makes me feel like Cinderella and I don’t know if I have ever felt like that before ..in fact he bought this sea of change in me and I am sure now I do look beautiful cause I wanted to just for him.

The other day I saw a dog biting of the fleas of her new born puppy and I could see that she could not see her child in pain and the way she ignored the food that people were passing on to her just because she wanted to be with her baby all the time,

I guess that’s love …


I think I want to just sum it all by saying that I want to bless god for blessing us with this emotion called love ..cause this world would shatter into pieces the day we loose it ……though hatred and a lot of unwanted emotions have taken over we still have a few ounces of love in every human being and that’s preventing the world from exploding.

I am sure the day we loose that last ounce of love in us that day will be worse than the world being hit by a nuclear explosion cause we might as well die that live in a loveless world.

“Sometimes people come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime.”

When someone is in your life for a reason, it is habitually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance, to aid you spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. The prayer you sent up has been answered.

I have always credited myself for my perfect life and for being so perfect. I was this obedient kid and didn’t mind being told by my brother that I was being this total sucker, and I can’t get started with how my friends said that I had no life and will regret being this dork with straight “A’s”. I was this shining example whose neighbours and relatives gave an exceptional example of, much to the exasperation of their kids, and when I got back from London with my MBA there was nothing more I needed to achieve. I was just about to have this perfect life. My mom always credited me for my hard work but she always told me that there was this approach or “attitude” that she never appreciated; my dad had tried 20 years of his life before he gave up on me trying altering this attitude in me. This attitude that I am the “best”. I am actually my favourite person and that I can never be wrong, do wrong, that I can never fail…………just took a man and his family to alter all that.

It was this second day at work and I was just preparing for my new life, new career to kick start and then there was this family that just came in, and it changed everything my perception and my life. There was so much more I needed to do and there was so much I have missed out on and so much more to achieve.

Mr. Sandeep Naik, His beautiful wife and I am sure there is an angel missing up in heaven because that would definitely be Mr. Sandeep’s son. Here was this perfect family where this man showed no restraint in showering his family with as much as love as he could, carrying his little baby around and being this perfect husband to his partner holding her all the time and it felt so perfect and that’s when it hit me. I didn’t have all of it after all. How could my life be perfect, I still didn’t have this perfect husband who left all his decision to me, who held me without a care in the world and completed my world with this beautiful little kid who had this set of parents who wanted the world for him and even took his opinion on the house they were to purchase. The one year old angel sure agreed with a bit of wobbling. He was not only this perfect husband but was also perfect at whatever he did. He is a very integral associate at one of the biggest private equity firms and that means he makes very very important decisions but he still let his little tot decide on a million dollar investment in a house and this entire incident overwhelmed me so much.

What was even more touching is how down to earth this man was, he actually asked me if I think he should invest his money in here. This man pulled me back to earth. A Wharton School graduate expecting me to be credulous. He sure was this man who has achieved a lot more in life and it took him to come to my company and teach me that I needed to accomplish a lot more before I could say that I have it all.

I don’t like giving people much credit for my life, but Thank you Mr. ……..Thank you for inadvertently teaching me that I am still at such a nascent stage of my career and that its time to acknowledge my mom when she says that its time I realise that’s it good to have a family despite my bad experiences. It surprises me is that it took so long and why Mr. Sandeep.

I am sure there was a reason; it was the perfect season and the lesson sure stays for a life time. Nevertheless I sent a silent prayer asking god to bless his family, and bless me with one just like his……….

Shilpa Shetty, You failed us!!!!!!!!!

I just finished watching the entire set of the big brother videos on youtube.com and was wondering if Shilpa Shetty really deserved to win. For me, it was a big deal that we had an Indian who was representing our country at Big brother and it made me very angry to knows the way she was bullied and the racial slur that was directed against her and I suddenly realised if the whole of Britain feels the same way about us; Of course the apologies came, but I am sure that a section of the society felt that Indians really do not have much to contribute and come from the slums.

But that apart, the reason I write this blog is because I wonder if we had a right representation of our country and its people. First and foremost, I really feel that if Jermaine Jackson was not present to save the day, would Shilpa have been able to maintain her cool and if it was not for the advice to continue acting dumb, would Shilpa really have been that tolerant? I wonder that because she has been going around telling people how the Indian counterparts have made life difficult for her and that the Indian security is not really doing its job right and the media has made her life difficult.

I wonder if she really deserved the credit. Well I did see her washing vessels and cooking for her roommates (she said it was personal choice, but someone intelligent could see that she successfully became a slave). I would have appreciated it if she had walked out on the show when she along with her country, India was battered beyond its dignity, having self admitted that she was loosing her dignity she stayed around for what, with a hope to win. Is she happy to have found success this way? What has she really won, yeah for one thing a lot of money and media coverage and an opportunity to be in this country forever? When two men had the guts to walk out on the show because they were bullied by the same people who bullied you, why didn't she do the same.

We definitely don’t need Shilpa to put us on the world map, we are already there, Just because she took on the racial slur and didn’t stand up for our country, and was called all kinds of names, do we really need to hail her and for what? Even after she was out of the house she said things like I forgive and I forget. Really, can you forgive and forget someone who has called you names and questioned your family values and above all degraded your country? The biggest joke was her receiving an award for winning Big brother (as if that was not enough) at a movie award function (and not for her acting skills). I don’t get it!!!!! What are all these people hailing her for and making her a demi-god of sorts.

All Shilpa did that day of the huge argument with Jade goody was to say “Shut up”, “I don’t want this”, “Stop swearing at me”, “Learn some manners”, and the rest of the gang got away saying what they really wanted to, to the extent of calling her a Paki, I attach the link stating exactly the extent of abuse use against our country. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celebrity_Big_Brother_racism_controversy

In an recent interview she said she would kill herself if she was reborn Jade goody, that’s how she feels about her; then why say that you have forgiven and forgotten and that people make mistakes, demeaning ones country, especially your motherland is not a mistake but a crime, especially when our freedom fighters laid their lives so that you were a free citizen. You are basking in the glory, thanks to the citizens of Indian origin settled here in UK, who definitely don’t know what our country is all about and must have voted for you, feeling obviously too sorry for you.

Looking at her recent set of interviews with the Indian Media, I am sure that she is not exactly tolerant and when questioned she can be really spiteful, so what was that suffering all in silence for, to win that show and project India as a looser that needs a scandal to rescue it.

Yes you need to be dignified, you need to be kind and you need to be courteous but when you say that you are representing your country , please make the right representation, we are not exactly tolerant when the dignity of this country is questioned anymore, she suffered in silence and we don’t do that any more. We suffered a lot already in the hands of our British rulers and instead of taking a lesson from that she has decided to suffer again, and I wonder if that makes us really proud as she claims to be.

I am not sure if Gandhiji’s Ahimsa (based on non violence, which I think means tolerance to violence and get kicked, till it hurts), exactly got us independence and I wonder if we would have got far, if it hadn’t been for the great revolutionary leaders and they were not exactly tolerant. We were not tolerant at Kargil. We were not tolerant when we had US hold up sanctions against us.

Shilpa, I am happy for you and your new found success, but for once if you really thought you were representing us I wish you had mentioned once, that your country was not at all what it was made out to be and really shown them the true picture of our progressive country and that we definitely don’t belong to the slums!!!!!!!!!!

But if you can’t get the message across, I will, we are not tolerant to injustice against us anymore and we don’t need to project that either and we don’t want dim witted bimbos to make that kind of false representations of us Indians and Indian women in particular anymore.

Its my Life, Can I please live it....My Way?

This is probably going to be a very personal blog, but it’s a thought and I needed to voice it or pen it, you might say. We all have manners, which all have the so called ethics and the so called etiquettes, but can we please choose to dispaly them when we want to

Just some days back, I had a major discussion with a friend of mine actually it was more of a dispute and we didn’t quite talk after that, but I am glad I made my point. We were at this restaurant and were served poppadum’s and I just dipped a piece of it into one of the sauces and my friend freaked out and said “That’s not how you do it, you take a spoon and pour the sauce over your poppadum’s and have it”, and I was like, “Hello I am here to have dinner, and don’t care about what the a set of people whom I might never meet in my life again care about how I look when I am eating. Anyways I eat that stuff, its ultimately landing in my stomach, the same way, at least I had it my way and the way I had it kind of satiates my hunger cause I enjoyed it having my way, cause the whole process of having it your way tires me and I don’t enjoy my dinner when I don’t enjoy having my dinner the way you had it.

Of course we never went ahead with that discussion and I for the sake of friendship now don’t have the poppadum’s any more. But the point here is, how much do we care for the so called manners and etiquettes ultimately. I mean we have a whole set of manners and stuff, but when someone gets on the wrong side or we have some elderly say something to us we lash out with the choicest of pearls, where do the etiquettes and manners go then. Let me not even get started on the public display of etiquettes and manners in some sections of the Indian society.

Do you really care for the etiquettes when you are in the confines of your room, I don’t think so, I am sure you would beat a hippo with the wide size mouth of your to shove in that burger you might be enjoying, and just because you are at a public place, you got to have manners and don’t open you mouth these many inches wide.

I don’t care for these rules, when I go to a restaurant, I am there to have fun and forget the problem’s I had to deal with that day, I want to sit cross-legged on the chair and enjoy my food, and I don’t care two hoots about what the people around me think cause I don’t think I will see them again and if they thin I am funny , that’s good I at least managed to make people laugh, that’s a good deed isn’t it; and if they think I had no manners I don’t think they have any, cause what I do is none of their business and they shouldn’t be looking my way

I have one life, and I want to live eat, sleep the way I want to, and I don’t care about what people have to say about the way I conduct my life. I can understand when you are at a business meeting , you surely cant afford to act like a monkey, but other than that I am sure I am allowed to behave the way I want to and I wish no one tells me what to do.

I don’t care, I know I am looked at but people better not judge me. They don’t deserve to cause, they are not perfect either. I only appreciate god judging me for my deeds, I am sure when I have a discussion with him up there, he is not going to ask me if I was lady like or why I was not cross legged or why I didn’t have my hand on my knees and why I didn’t smear my poppadum’s with sauce and instead choose to dip it into the sauce, I am sure he will ask me if I lived a worthwhile life and contributed to the betterment of the society.

As I said I have one life and I live it the way I want to and I am not going to alter that for a set of strangers I don’t know and who don’t care about me.

I like being free, I like being wild and I like being dirty (in a very decent way) and that how it will be (except when I am with my mom, I will have to write a thousand more bogs for her to get me.)

Can PHAT(fat) girlz ever be pretty, hot and thick??????

I have been working very hard on my weight off late; why you may ask or you may not cause its obvious girls have to be in shape. Girls should be in shape, cause otherwise they don’t make wife material if they exceed a certain weight limit, even if someone is just average and their weight is perfect for their age and height, you are a girl and you are not supposed to be heavy cause you are a overweight and you wont get a groom. I am dizzy with the entire weight loss regime and after a workout my legs quake with pain. But the satisfaction it brings my mom that I have managed to stay within the weight limits is immense.

I remember being teased “fatso” throughout my teens, without anyone sparing a thought that the weight was a result of typhoid (Please note I was not overweight I was just plump, which is quite in terms with human biology cause during adolescent years a human being goes through a lot of biological changes); but no, science has nothing to do with what society thinks. You are just supposed to be thin because potential suitors are looking at you and it very important criteria.

During my teens I had a metabolic rate so funny that I never lost weight for quite some time, But I was a healthy girl with no reason to worry otherwise, cause I never fell ill, never had a bout of fever and never suffered any major illness later, Because I was on a healthy diet, but mind you I was plump and I didn’t have enough time, I was still being judged for my weight remember.

Those years, I used to hate looking at myself in the mirror cause I also had a case of real bad acne which the doctor had assured was because of the hormone changes and it would all pass once I am a bit older, but hello where is the time I am being judged by potential suitors remember.

I wonder if looks, weight and complexion are really the issues important for one to look in a partner. Does a person with a few KGs above the so called “slim” being advertised in the matrimonial columns, the so called complexion and the so called attractive features make for a good partner? Though I don’t only speak for women, I also speak for men (metro sexual ages of men remember?) I am looking at the India society in particular.

Are these enough qualifications for one to be a good wife a good partner? Added features like a good job guarantees you a better groom, though sometimes the groom in question may be something we don’t want even want to talk about.

We hear saying like, don’t judge a book by its cover, looks fade, and all that email forwards that haunt our inbox daily. How much of it are we implementing in real life.
I wonder what about women who can actually do nothing about their weight, height or colour. I guess dowry is a good answer and would compensate the looks department. (Yes it is still prevalent and some people still talk about it with pride as to how they have managed to sell their daughters at a very good rate!!!!!!)

Though there is enough evidence to prove that none of these features have guaranteed a lasting happy marriage, or even a normal marriage, who wants them, we live in a society which is so blinded with the rules (thinking of this as a subject for my next blog)

When today we have an Indian woman who seems to have orbited the space and made a record of sorts (mind you she is no miss universe and the space didn’t throw Williams back because she was not attractive) we have a society that thinks a girl has to be real mind blowing to be in a position to deserve a partner she desires.

My aunty once said about me, “It’s so sad that she is so fat and unattractive, she won’t even have chances with a love marriage. I mean who would fall in love with her”.
She had the guts to say this to my mom and what hurt me the most is not the fact that she said it, what hurt me is that mom agreed with her to some extent.
Though because she is a mother, my mother she never let that statement affect her much, she loved me the same way and fed me the way she did before and loves me with all her life, but I knew that she thought that the statement was true to some extent. What if my daughter remains fat and unattractive all her life?

I don’t know if we have reached a stage when men have been able to stand up and say “Mom, please find me a girl who is lovable, educated and it doesn’t really matter is she is not a miss universe, a pleasing personality will do.”

I have friends who are not married to Angelina Jolie look alike, but I know that their love runs deep and they are very happy and I know that these marriages have existed.

My parents for example, my dad was so thin and he was fair and mom was a bit dusky and quite plump herself (She is the most beautiful woman on this earth, she is a beauty!!!!!!) Their marriage has worked (Touchwood) and I wonder if the fact that my mom was dusky and her weight have ever come in the way of their marriage. Both have done a great job bringing up a rock star like me :-)

So why is it a criteria for me suddenly, because the society demands it and when I mean society, I talk of the mother who are women, and I talk of the men who are sons, who agree with their mother when they say that, they are the best things to happen to woman kind and deserve Menaka’s from Indra’s heaven).

So whom do we blame here? ……I have to start blaming myself first, cause I believe that I need to loose weight to get a good husband and I don’t deserve to be happy cause I am not exactly Aishwarya Rai, I am the one to blame cause I don’t trust myself and I believe the world when they say that my talents and my capabilities don’t count cause I don’t exactly have mind blowing looks and it’s a primary duty for me to be married and settled to some bloke who comes my way cause he is godly enough to accept me.

In this age when ads like fair and lovely get aired without any hitches, I wonder when this society will ever change…. I do know that if we want a change, women have to start believing them selves and trust that they have the same rights as men and have a chance at their career and…. YES IT’S THEIR LIFE AND NO ONE TELLS THEM HOW THEY CONDUCT IT. THEY ARE PRECIOUS CREATIONS OF GOD AND THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE WHOM THEY WANT TO BE WITH. THEY ALL HAVE A PURPOSE OTHER THAN JUST BEING MARRIED AND CHILD REARING.

I know that the society has changed to quite an extent and we don’t have to be mirror cracking material to get a good job , prove our worth and capabilities. But yes, looks still dominate the bride hunting fraternity and though it’s difficult to say when it will not be criteria at all, I sure hope I live to see that day. Can Phat ever be pretty hot and thick!!!!