Hey Idiot ..you dont have OCD...

 Hey Idiot... when you tell me that you "have OCD" and clean the table with a tissue ....you don't impress me much.. cause I think you are trying to tell me that you like to keep your surrounding clean..but don't know what OCD truly means. 

I hope you know OCD is a serious issue... your life is not the same. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental illness that causes repeated unwanted thoughts or sensations (obsessions) or the urge to do something over and over again (compulsions).

Similarly when someone says that he or she is bipolar or is going insane... do they know what these neurological issues really mean.. read it up..educate yourself..

There was a time when i used to think I was bipolar because I would experience dipping and soaring of energy and mood through the day..till I watched the Anne Hathaway episode of Modern love.(Must Watch). I  never suffered and pray to god I never do..

Next time you open your mouth and say things like ... "I have OCD" or "Crazy bitch must be bipolar"...stop for a second and think about what its like to live with these issues.

Behind every successful Woman...there are men who think women are just like them.

When you see this picture its obvious that your attention goes to the woman running in between, being shoved and on her way to making history.

To me this picture also gives me an insight to what could have really happened at that time and how some men behaved and what they thought of women.

The woman is Kathrine Virginia "Kathy" Switzer the first lady to run the boston Marathon. Women were not allowed to run the Boston Marathon until 1972. In 1967, she became the first woman to run the Boston Marathon as a numbered entrant(an oversight at the registration). During her run, race official Jock Semple attempted to stop Switzer and grab her official bib. The word is “Grab”. I believe his actual words were "Get the hell out of my race and give me those numbers!"

You see they could have just let her run the race. She wouldn’t have won because her registration was invalid. But then they thought, what if she wins, that would be a kick to our chauvinistic masculinity and to save the last shred of it, let’s just shove a woman and put their race into their place so that she doesn’t dare change or make history.

The acceptance of women in sports has take over 100 years, fighting generations of ugly stereotypes.

Now for the other aspect of this picture, Sadly for Semple he was shoved to the ground by Switzer's boyfriend, Thomas Miller, who was running with her and she completed the race.

We still live with that generation of men who think the same way they did 4 decades ago and then there are men like Tom miller who aid that movement for women to have the same rights as them.

 As a feminist ..the one who believes in equal opportunities, I want to thank  men who have made  our lives a little easier, made our struggle a little lesser. To the fathers who support and love their daughters, to the husband that is a partner and a friend, to the bosses who don’t see gender but abilities and capabilities. In general men whose best quality  include the absence of  chauvinism.

To all the 20 year olds there. ( You may be an ageist and not know it)

You are going to be 30 soon and before you know it , you will be 40 and then I would like to ask you, how you like it when people call you “So old” especially when you are made to feel like a  person who has lost  all abilities to survive by themselves.  Next time you are in a conversation and find out that someone is in their 30s or late 30’s, don’t go “oh my god he or she is sooooo old yaar”.

One may have missed out on being a millennial by a couple of months and One may be a decade or two older than you but they have the same amount of energy as you. Haven’t lost their senses yet and will do their job with the same amount of enthusiasm, may be more if required.

Being older means you could learn a thing or two from me. My experience could be your lesson and may inspire you.  I can beat you at a dance off and though I am yet to have wrinkles I could easily hide that with an expensive haircut if I wish to.

Don’t talk to me like my life is over.

The Elevator Speech ....

Sometimes the strangest of situations can give you a real insight to what you are made of. 

I was stuck in an elevator yesterday for a whole 20 min and that moment really changed my perspective and the idea I had about “me”.

I have always been scared of elevators, it’s the same fear I face when flying. I am not in peace and am constantly praying for the flight to land and get out of it. When in an elevator, I always look out for ways to save myself “If things were to go wrong”. The taller the building, greater is the fear. It helps if I share the elevator with someone but if I am alone I am praying to the elevator gods. 

So yesterday when I entered the elevator and it moved to the first floor and just stopped, I would have expected my reaction to be that of sheer panic, (I also suffer from Phasmophobia and Nyctophobia, so at the same time wondering which spirit I was sharing the lift with and if he or she is going to be friendly). I would have been picturing my death after the lift had plummeted to the ground (to the daredevils out there rolling your eyes, don't make me explain phobias).

But to my surprise I see that I was strangely calm. So this is what happened 

• 1) First minute - OK, It’s pretty dark and I can’t see a thing.
  2) Second minute – Let’s use the light on the mobile and search and press the alarm button.
  3) Third minute- Let’s call someone and tell them I am stuck in an elevator and get help. (Unfortunately I couldn't do that since there was no network in the elevator. 
  The next 17 minutes, this is what I told myself.
  "You are an idiot; Of course you are not going to die. You will have enough air to breathe till you are rescued because you are in a building and you have set the alarms and someone will come with help. This lift will not plummet to the ground because this is a “sophisticated” elevator and you are on the freaking first floor, and you might break a bone or two (should help you score a vacation from work) or make a good story to narrate the next day. Also say you were to die, you lived a good life and had the love of the people who mattered. No you are not dying. Just take some god damn selfies for "The time you were stuck in an elevator".
  As these thoughts ran through my mind, I realized how “Chilled out” I was. I noticed that while people who had come to help me were shouting to communicate with me and scared for me, I was strangely calm and screaming back that I was OK. 
  You see, for the last couple of years I have been battling some self esteem issues. I tell myself I am stronger and then dive right back into self pity and not feeling too good about myself. That's why this moment, where I was suddenly demonstrating strength and calmness came as a major surprise to me. 
  But I guess this is what life does to you. You don't stay the same. You change. Experience changes you. The people you are with changes you, shutting down the wrong people in your life will change you. Seeking help, daily motivation and self help changes you. Acknowledging that you have a problem even if the world doesn't see it and then working towards make each day better changes you. It gets better.
  I know that if I was the person I was in the last couple of years, I would have probably started crying, screaming and banging the elevator doors. You know what I did. I put on my earphones on and sat on the floor and listened to some music and then waiting to get the hell out of there (chuckling about how I am going to spin stories about this experience coming out looking like wonder woman.) 
  It’s taken a lot of self help book reading, watching a motivational video every day and every opportunity I get (Face book, Insta and LinkedIn included) and trying to be a better version of myself each day. It’s a struggle but the “elevator Incident” showed me that I had made progress and it was going to get better. 
  P.S. The GIF. is a representation of how I walked out of that elevator. No Kidding.

Why are we celebrating the Cauvery verdict?

Just exactly why are people excited about Karnataka having an upper hand in the latest Kaveri Water verdict. I stay in Whitefield and one of my neighbors wastes nearly half a tanker water every Sunday cleaning her stairs just so that its sparkling clean. You can literally hear the continuous flow of water and the splashing that goes on for nearly an hour. We can't save water and are shamelessly celebrating this judgment which doesn't matter cause Global city or no, we will always have illiterates who will not mind keeping their homes clean at the cost of the environment. We stake claim over natural resources but don't know how to respect Nature or preserve it. 

Does the size of my bag bother you!!!!

I will keep this short. 

Why do I have to justify the size of my bag or the number of bags I bring along?

So I have a tiff-in box, a Laptop Bag and a general bag to carry stuff that I need and not a single day goes by when I don’t have a moron asking me, “Itna kya laati ho” translated to “Why do you need so many things to survive through a day”.

Listen Moron, I can’t bring my food in my purse that’s why the Tiff-in box, My Ipad fits into my iPad  bag only along with stuff I need at work like my diary and stationary and if you question me about the need to have a ladies purse I seriously want to punch you in the nose. I need to carry my purse for my chargers, make up, stuff a lady needs, Reading glasses, Sunglasses, My ID card. My purse, My car keys, my house keys… etc.

SO back off…….

My husband snores...Real Loud..(I am too sleep deprived to think of a better title)

So my husband snores and like really snores,…so much so that you wish you could cut your ears to sleep again after you wake up in the middle of the night by mistake.

Then the following thoughts come in…….

1)      Oh God, I need a pin to staple his nose shut.

2)      Thank god I have a husband sleeping next to me at least, it’s better than sleeping alone.

3)      Prepare Excuses in case I don’t sleep for hours together and wake up late cause “ my husband snores” won’t be a good enough excuse right?

4)      I am getting a new bed and shifting him to the other bedroom tomorrow.
5)      No, calm music being played at the loudest volume is not helping. 

"Incomplete, unsuccessful or unhappy" without motherhood. Not Really!

A question was posed to me yesterday, “How many kids?”, I said "None" then came the next question, "So recently married, huh?", I said “No” and then came the look that I guess meant confusion, pity or “What’s she doing with her life”.

Two days ago, there was another question, "So how long have you been married" and I said 6 ..."So how my many kids", I said "None" and I got the same look.

Same question, framed different.      

“Married – Yes - How many kids? – None - Huh!”

                             “Kids – No – How long have you been married? – “>=3” – Huh!”

It doesn't stop here. In an interview a couple of months ago, I was asked, “So how many kids?”; I said “None”, and then came the sagely advice, "Don't you think this is a right time to have one, It’s too late, No?" I replied, “My husband and I certainly don't think so”. Of course I received the offer letter but I just can’t bring myself to work with someone who thinks he has a better plan of motherhood and it's timings of the same than me. I wasn’t prepared for how he would have guided me in my career cause that’s what he should have been concerned about.

Around 5 years ago, same question, same answer, reaction “That’s a bold move”. There was always an opinion.

Kudos to the ladies who manage both! You are really something. But does not having kids diminish my self worth. No matter how many women empowerment videos we watch and how much of the same we forward, we will never get over the fact that women will always be expected to perform certain roles that the society has designated for us.

I will always be the looser who didn't get her timing right!

However these questions don't bug me anymore (because now there have been so many that I am pretty much thick skinned). Not having a kid is my choice but what about the women who choose to and are trying hard to be mothers and can't be one due to some issues; financial issues, health issues etc. These questions to me are just questions that I can brush of, but to some they can be plain insensitive. Actually they are insensitive to me too. (You don’t know my situation, but you see, thick skinned :-)

Can we be less judgmental? When we ask a lady if she has kids and she says No, press the stop button and move on. Keep your advice like biological clock, right timing etc. to yourself and gulp it down with a chill pill. 

P.S. Both genders involved in asking these questions.

I am a dragon breathing fire! Beautiful Mane, I am the lion.

I ran away from home once. I was 10 years old. I carried with me, my school books and my school uniform and wore my birthday dress cause it was my favorite ( yeah, school was always important to me. I thought the nuns of my convent school would adopt me I guess). Walked 1 km away from home, realized my bag was heavy, that I miss mom already and it was not worth the trashing if they did trace me (which I knew my mom was capable of) and returned. Till date that remains the only brave things I did………. 

        .............................Now wait a minute that’s not it.

I am a brave girl and I have many more to add to my list of brave things …

1)      I left home to pursue my education abroad.

2)      I walked out of a bad relationship and rebuilt my life.

3)      I left my well set career in Mumbai to explore a new one in Bengaluru and failed (because I had a

       d*** for a boss and  a D** for a colleague) and then succeeded again.

4)      I hit a guy in train because he messed with my best friend, with no worry of how it would back 

fire.

5)      I questioned my professor when he wouldn’t let me submit my assignment because I was a few hours late and got him to accept it without saying a sorry

6)      I questioned my parents over their choice of spouse for me and didn’t settle.

7)      I married the love of my life and my best friend despite the odds.

8)  Went to the police station and filed an NOC for my friend who was being harassed by a stalker. 

And many more.

Every woman has a heart of a warrior in her and she can accomplish so much with knowing exactly how brave she is. If only every girl knew that.

To quote Guru Beyonce  :-)  I am a dragon breathing fire! Beautiful Mane, I am the lion. 

Back on my feet

It’s been ages since I have not written. Well the thoughts were there but strangely the idea left my brain the moment they came in. Thoughts like would that be a stupid topic to discuss and wouldn’t people think I am stupid, would people think I am trying to be a smart ass…wouldn’t people think..

I hardly have any views on this blog spot, but the fear of people reading and judging me was so strong that I have almost lost the enthusiasm to mention anything once I picked the laptop to write.

How did this happen, when did I become the person who cared so much….

I know that the last one year has not been easy, mostly my fault..going through depression,  people believing that its’ just an act,  met some real pricks who claimed to be my friends, my mind has not stood still..but the most basic harm ..I have not been myself .  I cared too much about what some looser ass without half(make that a quarter) of  my credentials thinks about me. Yeah I said cared …past tense..because post this blog…there are new ones coming…ones I will write without giving a sh** about which douche bags feelings are getting hurt here…or what that douche bag thinks … I don’t care for judgment anymore.

Boy….I am really angry, aint I… I thought douchebag was a single word. J

I am a south Indian - I am not a Madrasi and I dont have an Accent

I don’t get Sardarji jokes. No I get the joke ...what i don’t get is the fact that we think because a Sardarji is involved it’s supposed to be funny.

Well in what part of your conversation with a Surd (as people call it..Not me...) does he come across as stupid or foolish.

Well I have spoken to many people from the community and trust me all of them have come across as gentle, warm, down to earth and extremely intelligent people.

It’s in good humour one may say...I say, No it’s not funny when you categorise Sardarjis as being stupid.

Gujrathis take pride in being astute businessmen but its they miserly attitude that one makes fun of, South Indians are being made fun of for their accents ( I am one and I have none) and the colour of their skin..( I once heard a relative who looked at a gentleman of African  descent and said he might be a south Indian...needless to say I haven’t spoken to that dimwit ever again)

You want to make a joke,...just call them by their names...cause sometimes it’s just taking it too far. I am all for a good joke..I am just not into making fun of some misguided notions about  behavioral patterns of some communities, cause we have  Indians belonging to different communities who have proven to be major stalwarts.  

I rest my case...

Happy New year to me!!!

No i don’t like this year. The worst i could have. When people were wishing me a Happy New Year I hope that this is not what they had in mind.

 Ok to begin with my husband shifted to Bangalore temporarily for work.(I haven’t lived a day without my husband, seriously not a single day)

I lost weight, no reason to smile though cause I lost it the wrong way ..I fell sick.

I was having the worst time at work...I screwed up a lot of times....

Wait a minute .....

It wasn’t that bad ...

My husband and I realized we can’t live without each other and say I love you more often than before..

My boss’s put up with my idiosyncrasies and forgave me with a lesson and gave me another chance..Again and again and I also managed to get some work done.

I lost weight...doesn’t matter how I lost it...I did and the complements came through.

So you know what, it wasn’t bad ...I did have a pleasant year.

I always complain and realize later that I have blessings to count.

Yeah there are some challenges but then who doesn’t,it wouldn’t be called life then..and it will sort out like the rest of my problems.

Happy new year to me !!!!!!!

Dad....Our Hero.

Malala's story is an inspiring one; I respect her and wished that she win the Nobel last year. However while reading her article I stumbled upon a piece that mentioned her father. The man who said “We wouldn't leave our country if my daughter survives or not. We have an ideology that advocates peace. The Taliban cannot stop all independent voices through the force of bullets." I am sure Malala didn't not find courage by herself. She found it because of her father an equally principled man, gave her courage and supported her endeavor. A man who on hearing gunshots said “Don't be scared – this is firing for peace".

So this one I write not for Malala but for her dad, who I believe was her inspiration. A man who was equally at a risk as his daughter and has been by her side through it all.

This one is for all the fathers in the world who have stood by their daughters through thick and thin and forever remain an inspiration not through their words but through their deeds.

My father is a man of few words, but just observing him, has helped me in so many ways. He has never bunked work, never faked an illness, has always been honest and has always been on time and has always maintained that time is money and has to be respected. I don’t think I ever caught him lie. My father till date remains my idol and my hero. Today because of him I am always on time, I can’t lie easily and can’t bring myself to bunk work. Thank you dad.

We hardly give credit to our dads, because we have no idea how we are influenced by them daily and how much they do for us in their own little ways. Every day we come across inspiring stories of fathers inspiring their daughters, stories like Autorickshaw driver's daughter tops CA examination which get highlighted, some which don’t. The fact remains that our dads are and will remain our true heroes. 

I  am extremely religious, at least I was around Janamashtami 2013, and then one day, I moved on to being more spiritual. I mean I still believe in god but now I believe that Karma is what I need to worry about and not how many temples I visit, how much I fast and if I clinch a visit to Lal Baug ka Raja.
You see I am done with that. I am tired of begging and asking god for things I am not even sure I want because I am sure I want those things for all the wrong reason. Reasons I know will not fulfil me as a person but will surely please people around me. I am tired of being a fatalistic person, and tired of blaming God and circumstances and the stars for my failures and inability to achieve what I want.
Truth is that I know that no matter how much I pray, god has just about decided that I will get what I deserve and that Karma will decide where I am. If I want something I have to get of my behind and work towards it...I would like to believe that god is going to be okay with that and let me know through his continued blessings that I need not worry about standing in a 2 days long line to see him.
I promise to be a good human being and care for my family and try to give back to society but that’s that.
My Prayer..Dear God who rests in my heart, thank you for letting me live for another day and for the wonderful life I live. Give me the strength to face any challenges that come my way with courage. Keep me sane safe and let me be a good human being with good morals.

I am not a feminist, but it bugs me when I receive forward from my girlfriends that are extremely insulting to woman folk in general. I get that some men don’t think to highly of us and will stop nowhere to prove that we are better suited in the kitchen, but when the ladies do it, that’s irritating. C’mon ladies please read the message and give a thought to what you are forwarding. Women are not bad drivers (not on purpose), they are not all about clothes and make up and they are not always late, they are not forgetful and are not bad cooks…  

Second Impressions!!!

"Our neighbours son is going to London" my mom said and the immediate reaction was “ who that dunce, he couldn’t spell London if he wanted to”. My mom stare surprised me cause I thought she would agree, obviously she didn’t. I kept thinking about it and then it hit me..how did I make that assumption and why did I make that assumption.
Well growing up he obviously wasn’t the brightest kid, who studied in a vernacular medium and didn’t even speak of word of English when I was around, major shy and didn’t even bother to appear or act intelligent.
Mom was right, I had no right to make a judgment basis any of the above, people change, they get better.
There I realised how many of us make the same mistake. My neighbour got better but what about people who base this judgement, make it their nature and are never able to change.
We say that the first impression is the last impression, is that right? People deserve a second chance to make an impression in case they screw it the first time. Dont they?

Its all easy now..Aint it?

Sample A: Vakratunda Mahakaya, Surya koti Samaprabha, Nirvighnam Kurumeydeva , Sarva Karyeshu Sarvada. This is what I recited as five year old.
Sample B: Ek do teen chaar,Ganpati ji ki jai jai kaar, Paanch che saath aath, Ganapati hain sabke dulare, Nau das gyarah barah, Ganpati ji hain sabke pyare, Tera chaudah pandra solah, agle saal phirse padhare. This is what I heard my ten year old cousin recite. I almost thought she would break into a jig and do a la Madhuri.

I was sent to the Chinmaya mission when I was ten and today I can boast (though not proudly)of knowing most of the sholkas, bhajans, the significance of these shlokas and bhajans.
So when I heard the my cousin, I wondered in this fast age we haven’t spared God too and want to take the easy route instead of learning a few difficult verses. :-) You could say that the child’s sentiment matters....reallly woo hoooo!!! or was it just easy...effortless...I wonder why parents and my teachers took the effort then.

I once asked my love what he found the most attractive in me and i was expecting the most cliche of the answer..its your eyes....convenient....i mean if he was to ask me that i would have said "darling its your eyes"....but he said ..its your nose........and i guess that is when i realized that love was blind ...indeed 100 % blind...cause if you ever saw my nose ....well lets say there's nothing to describe there...and my love felt that the most imperfect part of me was what he found cool.. i grew up with everyone ...(when i mean everyone it means the section of society which places the physical attributes before anything else and which primarily also includes my mom) giving me tips of achieving a nicole kidman nose , "try massaging your nose this way sraight down the bridge of your nose"...."try surgery...(my mom almost fixed an appointment which a rhinoplastery surgeon" ...."i can only see your nose on your face".. and i had grown to detest the mirror for i thought it was true..... i could only see my nose...cause it was imbedded in my head that i had a large nose...occupying 3/4 of my face and as much as i hated it, i knew in my heart that i am not touching or mending the way god made me ......a few years down the line ..the man of my dreams tell me that he loves my nose...well done God ....you have a purpose in placing everything at its right place.....love the way god made you ....he has a reason in doing so....it could be your chinky eyes, your thin lips , your heavy frame, your thin frame. and if he wants to alter you..then he the NOT THE ONE.